.hidden-content { display: none; }
top of page

Rejection Advice That Sucks: ‘It Could Be Worse’ Edition

Writer's picture: Tanesha MoodyTanesha Moody

Rejection Advice That Sucks: ‘It Could Be Worse’ Edition

Ah, the phrase that is like the poster child of rejection advice that sucks: “It could be worse.” You know this one. It reminds me of the smell of a wet dog – unwelcome and somehow managing to stick around even when you don’t have a dog. Like why is this invading my nostrils? This advice is insensitive, dismissive, and poop-filled and should not be given to anyone, especially someone who is processing a complex emotional experience that sometimes accompanies rejection. Come on, y’all. 


I know I’m guilty of it because whatever the situation, it absolutely could be worse. However, that’s not what we want to hear when we just got told “No.” Sometimes, just sometimes, we just want you to sit there and bask alongside us amid the rejection. Spread the suck and feel what we’re feeling together. I’m not always looking for advice or a way to solve something. Sometimes, I just want to rant and feel empathy from someone close to me. 


Rejection

Why “It Could Be Worse” Is the Worst


Offering “It could be worse” as some sort of consolation feels like the individual doesn’t care about what I’m going through and experiencing. Imagine you hand a tissue to someone whose house just burned down as you say, “At least the neighbors didn’t lose their house.” WTF?! Feeling the perspective burn yet? 


I think what gets me is that this experience of rejection really could be one of the most emotionally devastating things someone is experiencing, and inserting this phrase completely dismisses it. Are you even trying to understand where I’m coming from? 


Yes, the “No” hits, but also the fact that we were emotionally invested in this offer – we worked ourselves up to even get the work, application, or project to the table with the hope that we would receive a “Yes.” There were expectations and inserts of ourselves into whatever that thing was. When we experience a rejection that crumbles our offer, it can feel devastating. 


Yes, there are people experiencing homelessness, global crises, and wars are going on. There is pain and devastation in every single place that you turn and digest on social media. But pain and suffering aren’t a competition. Just because someone else’s pain seems “worse” doesn’t mean ours isn’t valid. Dismissing them with “It could be worse” invalidates not just the rejection, but the person experiencing it.


Rejection

The Lasting Impact of Dismissive Advice

The problem with “It could be worse” isn’t just that it stings at the moment—it can leave a lasting impression. When someone dismisses our pain, it sends a message: Your feelings aren’t important. Over time, this can erode trust and create distance in relationships.

Think about it: If someone brushes them off every time we share our struggles, how likely are we to go to that person again? For me, when I hear “It could be worse” from someone, they immediately get removed from my rejection support circle. I need people who will sit with me in the discomfort, not minimize it.


Why Do We Default to “It Could Be Worse”?

So, why do so many people fall back on this unhelpful phrase? In most cases, it’s not malicious. Often, it’s because:

  • They’re uncomfortable with others’ pain. Rejection is messy, and nobody can handle someone else’s emotions.

  • They don’t know what to say. People mean well but are unsure how to respond, so they reach for a cliché.

  • They want to fix it. Instead of validating your feelings, they try to offer perspective, thinking it will make you feel better.

While the intentions might be good, the execution leaves much to be desired.


Better Responses: What to Say Instead

Instead of “It could be worse,” try responses that validate the person’s feelings and show empathy:

  • “Wow, that really sucks. I’m sorry you’re going through this.”

  • “I can see why this would be so hard for you.”

  • “That’s really disappointing. I’m here for you if you want to talk about it.”

  • “What do you need from me right now?”

These responses don’t dismiss the pain or try to fix the situation. Instead, they create space for people to process their emotions in a supportive environment.


The Power of Sitting in the Suck

I vehemently wish that we were better able to not only read the room but act in it accordingly. Sometimes, instead of a dead fish of a phrase, what we need most is acknowledgment. I’d take a “Wow, that really sucks” over “It could be worse” any day. It doesn’t fix the rejection response that we received, but it may make a little space to process it with another who cares. 


Rejection

Empathy Is the Real Superpower

Empathy is what turns a dismissive response into a supportive one. To practice empathy, try these steps:

  1. Listen without judgment. Let the person share their experience without trying to correct or fix it.

  2. Validate their feelings. Acknowledge what they’re feeling without diminishing it.

  3. Be present. Sometimes, your presence is more powerful than any words you could say.

  4. Resist the urge to compare. Their pain is their own, and it’s valid—period.

By responding with empathy, you build trust and connection, making it easier for someone to turn to you in their moments of vulnerability.


Words Have Power

Our words hold a lot of power. A thoughtful response can help another feel supported, understood, and not alone or dismissed, preventing them from experiencing another rejection. 


How we choose our words in these moments can determine whether someone turns to us the next time they’re struggling. Personally, when someone defaults to “It could be worse” in my moment of need, I make a mental note to exclude them from my rejection support circle. If I can’t trust them to handle my feelings with care, why would I go to them again?


Let’s do better. Let’s read the room, sit with the discomfort, and resist the urge to fix things immediately. Sometimes, simply being there for someone in their moment of rejection is enough.

Rejection

Linking to the Bigger

This is just the first in a series of rejection advice that misses the mark. From “Just don’t take it personally” to “Everything happens for a reason,” we’ve all heard advice that falls flat. But here’s the thing: these missteps highlight how deeply uncomfortable rejection makes us. By exploring these common phrases, we can learn how to approach rejection with more compassion—for ourselves and for others.


Permission to Feel

Here’s the truth: We all deserve permission to feel like a rejection is the worst thing ever—even if it’s not objectively true. Acknowledging the weight of our emotions is a critical step in processing and eventually moving past the rejection.


So, next time you’re tempted to say, “It could be worse,” maybe try, “That really sucks” instead. You’d be surprised how much more helpful that simple shift can be.


What’s the worst rejection advice you’ve ever received? Let’s talk about it in the comments—because we’ve all been there, and you’re definitely not alone.


<!-- LinkedInContent: “It could be worse.” Ever heard that gem after facing rejection? It’s like the wet dog of advice—unwelcome, dismissive, and it lingers.


Rejection is complex, and phrases like this don’t help. Instead of creating space for processing emotions, they shut down the conversation.


In my latest blog, I dive into why “It could be worse” misses the mark and share better ways to support someone navigating rejection.


Read more below!


Let’s ditch dismissive phrases and start showing up for each other with empathy and care. Rejection is coming—let’s handle it Full Out. #RejectionIsGrowth #LiveFullOut #EmpathyMatters #BetterAdvice #PersonalGrowth -->

1 view0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


Let's Connect!

©2020 by Tanesha L. Moody

bottom of page