Rejection Is Coming (And It’s Not As Bad As You Think)
For me, rejection is anything that doesn’t feel like a “Hell Yes.” It’s not always a loud, definitive “No.” Rejection isn't always a loud "No." Sometimes, it's a whisper from the universe saying, "Not now" or "Maybe, but not like this." But one thing’s for sure: rejection is never a "Hell Yes." And that's how we know.
The Dictionary defines rejection as “the dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea, etc.,” but we all know it’s so much more than that. Rejection isn’t solely a word with its negative swirl of connotations but an experience. Rejection can be a cocktail of emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations, making for a unique experience that is not always welcomed with open arms. It’s not just something that happens to us; it’s something we feel from the inside out.
Rejection is not going anywhere; it is a constant uninvited guest in our lives. Every single person, at some point in their lives, will experience rejection. Right now, as I’m writing this and you’re reading it, someone somewhere just got hit with a fresh “No.” And maybe that person is you – have you checked your email today? Unfortunately, we cannot opt of this life experience by hitting the tiny fine print at the bottom of a spam email. If we’re committed to living life fully and fulfilling our purpose, we’ve got to learn how to navigate rejection. Not just tolerate it and throw a pity party – navigate it effectively and gracefully.
Growing up as an only child, I’ve spent most of my life hearing “Yes.” I didn’t always realize there was another response. The Only-Child Syndrome is real, y’all. Add divorced parents to the mix, and sometimes I’d hear two yesses for the same request. I remember one Christmas, both of my parents purchased me some fancy over-the-ear headphones. Double Winning! So if you grew up in a spoiled environment where you could do no wrong and have a stockpile of “Yes,” there’s a good chance that you’re entitled to compensation because now, adult rejection is here to steal those childhood victories. I am sorry you’re going through this. The world is unfair, but it has a weird way of balancing the scales, right?
On rare occasions when a parent told me “No,” I had a system in place. For one, I would go and ask the other parent sometimes (rookie move – they talked to each other, and my plan back-fired). And other times, I would pout. Yes. I love a good pout. No tantrums, though. I am African American, and my parents spanked me. Stomping, slamming doors, and rolling eyes were unacceptable unless I wanted to meet my maker.
The only option available was to take it personally. I knew that in those moments when my parents told me “No,” it was a personal attack. “Oh, so y’all just don’t love me anymore? Got it.” Yup. I’ve just saved someone thousands of dollars in therapy that I’ve already paid for. You’re welcome!
Jokes aside. Rejection hits us all a little differently. I know that when a rejection experience occurs, I sweat profusely and try not to cry before hiding in my bedroom and curling up with my cat. A therapist can bring some childhood patterns and attachment styles to the forefront. If this is hitting a little too close to home, please seek therapy. There’s nothing wrong with you, but understanding ourselves is the ultimate life hack. Many therapists, I’m sure, can confirm that there is probably some information about your attachment styles and how you deal with rejection that has a direct connection and correlation to your childhood upbringing. Therapy helped me see how my younger self’s patterns were still running the show. And guess what? Knowing better enables us to do better. Therapy, coaching, and reading blogs like this one—all of it—give us a deeper understanding of who we are so we can step into our best selves. That’s not just fun; it’s necessary.
As I’ll reinforce here, I’m not a therapist. I’ve encountered a lot of rejection and want to help someone out there, or even myself, navigate this constant piece of life to the best of our abilities for the rest of our lives. I’ve spent a lot of time observing, thinking, and understanding rejection from my personal perspective, so here I am writing about it!
Why Rejection Matters
Rejection isn’t just about feeling disappointed. Left unchecked, it can run wild in our lives. It can keep us from pursuing goals, push us toward self-doubt, or leave us stuck in fear. I believe that, like Fear and Change, if we don’t have practical, efficient, and impactful ways of navigating rejection, we risk rejection affecting our lives in unideal fashions. Whether that’s slipping into depression (if encountering this, please seek professional support!), fearing rejection so much that we never try to accomplish our fears, and just not becoming the versions of ourselves we’re meant to be are just some of the ways that rejection can hijack our lives if left unchecked.
I’m all about helping people live their lives full out—not halfway, not “just enough”—but Full Out. And if you’re here, I’m guessing you’re on that same mission. Sometimes, rejection gets in the way of doing just that. If we’re committed to living Full Out, sitting in mediocrity rather than facing the possibility of rejection is not an option.
Rejection is an Opportunity
Rejection is actually a gift. Look, I’m not going to preach that rejection “just makes you stronger” because that’s not it. Rejection stings, and it leaves a scar sometimes. But still. Rejection shows us what’s not for us, which clears the way for what is. It’s like nature’s way of closing doors so we can stop wasting time trying to force them open. Every “No” we’ve ever received has rerouted us to where we’re meant to be. Rejection is a clarity tool. The information we receive from a rejection experience helps us to pause, learn, and move toward our purpose.
The more we’re willing to experience rejection, the more “Yes” moments we’ll have. If we’re only taking shots we’re 100% sure we’ll make, we’re probably taking too few shots.
If we’re going to live Full Out, we must learn how to navigate rejection with grace, humor, and resilience. We’ve got to recognize it’s a part of life—not a punishment, but a process. The better we get at navigating it, the less power it has over us.
I’m building my toolbox for navigating rejection—a collection of practical tools, self-awareness, and perspective shifts that help me keep moving forward. I’m inviting you to do the same. With the right tools, rejection doesn’t have to hijack our lives. Rejection can be an ally, a teacher, and maybe even (eventually) a friend.
Rejection is going to show up. It’s unavoidable. But it doesn’t have to control us. Rejection isn’t the end of the story. It’s a twist in the plot. And if we’re committed to living Full Out—not halfway, not "just enough," but Full Out—we know that every twist is part of our journey.
Rejection happens to all of us, but it doesn’t have to control the story. Follow along as I share insights, strategies, and laughs for handling rejection like a pro (and maybe even seeing the gifts in it). Let’s keep growing, Full Out.
<!-- LinkedInContent: Rejection isn’t always a loud “No.” Sometimes it’s a “Not now” or “Maybe, but not like this.” Either way, rejection stings.
But what if rejection isn’t the villain? What if it’s the plot twist leading you to what’s meant for you?
In my latest blog, I share why rejection matters, how to navigate it, and how to stop letting it run the show.
Read it here: [Insert Link]
Rejection is coming—let’s handle it Full Out. #RejectionIsGrowth #LiveFullOut #MindsetShift -->
תגובות