Surprise. It May Actually Work Out

Surprise. It May Actually Work Out

I sometimes wonder if it's more exhausting to be an optimist or a pessimist. I don't know how to measure exhaustion accurately since it is subjective and varies from person to person. One person's exhaustion is another's walk around the couch before plopping down for some Netflix. 

I hear about exhausting all options, and sometimes, I wonder if that is actually true. Did they consider the truly wild ideas that make even the most striking individuals blush? Or just the tried-and-true standards that can fit within the budget and have already been implemented?

Who really knows? 

Similarly, there's a lot of uncertainty, a pervasive element, in every single area of life. From whether it's really going to rain tomorrow to whether the relationship will last, the odds could or could not be ever in our favor. There are risks and expectations. There's the possibility it doesn't work out and that it actually does.

I caught myself with the help of my coach recently. I received coaching around a business growth-related initiative involving reaching out to specific individuals. I shared all of the meticulous preparation work with my coach. I informed her that I had created the list of individuals. I had templates for if they didn't respond. I had a plan of action for my personal care when faced with the rejection of not one soul getting back to me. A few people close to me had steps to take when I informed them that no one was interested. As my professional career has prepared me, I had contingency plans for days. I was ready, ecstatic, and proud of myself. 

I felt so ready to unleash my plan at the right moment. I was armed with enough cushion to soften every single blow that inevitably came my way. 

My coach took a moment while I caught my own breath after pouring out the CVS length receipt of steps I'd taken. She said, “Tanesha, you've prepared extensively for scenarios where no one responds. What happens if someone does?”

I was flabbergasted, shocked, and completely off guard, like that time I ran head-first into a pole in elementary school. 

I had not even considered the possibility that this could work out and that success could be on the other end. I didn't get my hopes up one time that someone would say yes to my offer. Despite my natural optimism, I had fallen into the trap of preparing for the worst and completely neglecting the best-case scenario, or really, any other favorable possibilities. 

Realizing that I had overlooked the potential for success, I also took a moment to notice that since I didn't even think about it, I had no follow-up emails if they said yes. There was no treat to celebrate the win ready to be enjoyed, and my community had no instructions on how to share in the win.

I completely removed the possibility that something like this could work in my favor, that maybe a positive expectation could work out for me instead of solely the rejection I thought was lurking around the corner. I was disappointed in my optimistic self but oddly proud because I was optimistic that it wouldn’t work out, yet I still intended to move forward.

Sometimes, we become so entangled in the worst-case scenario that we don't consider the best case or the plethora of options that exist between the two extremes. We're so focused on the seemingly negative possibilities, which include rejection, fear, and failure, that we don't even look at the other side, which could consist of acceptance, courage, and success. 

We don't always give ourselves permission, time, and space to dream up possibilities that feel like wins. Granting ourselves this liberty to envision and embrace favorable possibilities requires vulnerability (scream) and introspection (gasp). We have a chance to cultivate a mindset that acknowledges the potential for success in conjunction with those pesky apprehensions and concerns. Balanced perspectives help us create a path for resilience in the face of adversity and celebration in moments of triumph. 

It's easier to fail full-out when you expect it and have tricks to navigate setbacks. It’s not much easier, but there’s something there because we can remind ourselves how we previously navigated similar setbacks. We have an extensive track record of returning to our feet after falling flat on our faces.

On the flip side, celebrating doesn’t come easily for everyone. There are so many wins and acceptance moments in our lives that we can brush off as typical occurrences—sometimes, the big things, too. 

I recently graduated with my Maryland Life and Engagement Coach Certification. I hate to admit this, but I considered not going to graduation or telling anyone about it. Why? I felt that this achievement wasn’t worth celebrating because I have other coach goals that haven’t come to fruition just yet. This felt like a step on the journey, just a quick pass through “Go.” I also have two degrees already—another graduation for a certificate felt like a third-grade graduation – irrelevant and insignificant. 

I’ve realized, however, that permitting myself to celebrate even the small things or the achievements that don’t resonate with anyone but myself is worth it. I’ve had to learn to build in rewards and gifts for myself for hitting milestones along life's journey. 

Similarly, I am permitting myself to fully consider that something could work out for the best-case scenario. It’s taking practice and rewiring to get here. It’s not a default reaction when we’ve faced disappointment, rejection, and occurrences when it felt like the absolute worst possible outcome was made real. 

However, I feel that we’re potentially doing a disservice to ourselves by not revealing all the possibilities, even the best-case one. For one, there’s fun and no restrictions—how often do we encounter that in life?! And on top of that, it’s even free! In addition, it sparks hope and provides perspective options that maybe we were too scared or unwilling to engage in vulnerability to entertain. 

At the end of the day, rarely does either the worst or the best-case scenario happen—we tend to land somewhere in the middle. However, when I think about living fully, honoring my values, and becoming the person I wish to become, shedding just a little bit of light and positivity on the idea that everything can work out in my favor and that I’m deserving of that outcome means that I’m on the right track in this thing called life.

Surprise. It May Actually Work Out

Takeaways:

Embrace All Possibilities: Don’t just prepare for failure; make space for success and the myriad possibilities in between.

Celebrate Wins, Big, and Small: Recognize and reward your achievements, even minor ones. Every step forward is worth acknowledging.

Shift Your Mindset: Practice envisioning the best-case scenario and permit yourself to dream of positive outcomes.

Ready to start believing in your best-case scenario? Let’s connect and explore how you can embrace all possibilities and celebrate your journey. Schedule your complimentary discovery session today and carve a path to success together.

www.taneshalmoody.com/coaching

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