Rejection Isn’t a Puddle—Stop Telling Me to “Just Get Over It”
This phrase has to be the holy grail of all the bad advice for dealing with rejection: “Just get over it.” Seriously, who came up with this one? Who taught people to handle relationships and emotions this way? Who decided that dismissing someone’s complex emotions with this verbal shrug was the way to go? If you’re dishing out this gem to someone navigating rejection, I have questions. I just want to talk.
Even as I’m writing this, I know that there is someone somewhere being told to do this precisely in the face of experiencing a rejection. What in the world? Complex emotions and experiences like rejection aren’t things that we just get over like a leap over a puddle.
When we’ve dedicated hours of our lives to cultivating an offer that we'll never get back and infusing bits and pieces of our soul into artwork when we receive that lack of acceptance, it hits us emotionally. Rejection has layers of complexity, just like Shrek, onions, and parfaits. It requires time, compassion, and, yes, a whole lot of patience.
Why “Just Get Over It” Is the Worst
I feel like we never really just get over anything. From grief and heartbreak (which I’m experiencing right now) to losing that balloon at three years old. There’s probably something you’re holding on to that you didn’t just leapfrog over. Instead, we navigate around it. I know I did, and I’m doing it right now.
Getting over something minimizes it and makes it into something unimportant. If you didn’t already know, rejection is not unimportant. It hits because it is tied to our hopes, efforts, and those little bitty pieces of ourselves we infused within the offer.
Let’s use a real-life example: Imagine you spend weeks preparing for a job interview. You research, rehearse, and show up ready to crush it. Then you get the rejection email: “We’ve decided to go in a different direction.” Cue the disappointment, frustration, and maybe even a little self-doubt. Telling someone to “just get over it” in this moment is like telling them to sprint up Mount Everest. It’s not realistic—or kind.
Looking at those Tough Mudder competitions, the obstacles they have to endure physically require serious effort. Lugging their bodies over structures and pulling themselves over with the use of a rope always seems so laborious, and we haven’t even mentioned the mud. These displays of physicality most likely turn me off because I do not work out, but they are also messy. Navigating rejection feels a lot like that.
Rejection is a series of obstacles, not a single moment to “get over.” One obstacle might be fully experiencing your emotions– letting yourself feel the disappointment instead of stuffing it down like it didn’t happen. Another could be expressing gratitude for lessons learned (even if you don’t feel grateful at first). And we might find ourselves reaching out for support when we would instead rather isolate ourselves – yet another obstacle. The course might be long or short, straightforward or complicated—but depending on what offer was rejected, it’s not always as simple as a leap and a shrug.
Each time we successfully conquer an obstacle, such as expressing gratitude, fully experiencing emotions, or seeking support from another, we move closer to successfully navigating the rejection. Like at those races where the participants' friends and families are on the sidelines, it is critical to have individuals who recognize that just getting over it isn’t the best course of action and are prepared to cheer and support as we navigate a rejection experience.
The Rafiki Perspective
Remember that scene in The Lion King when Rafiki whacks Simba on the head and says, “It’s in the past”? He’s not wrong—but he’s also not saying to just forget about it and move on. The past informs us. It shapes us. It teaches us.
Rejection works the same way. You don’t “just get over it.” You reflect, process, and grow. It’s about taking the experience with you—not letting it hold you back but also not brushing it off like it didn’t matter. It’s not about pretending the rejection didn’t hurt—it’s about navigating what comes next.
What to Do Instead of “Just Getting Over It”
If “just get over it” doesn’t cut it (and spoiler: it doesn’t), what does? Here’s what navigating rejection looks like:
Feel Your Feelings: Rejection sucks. Give yourself permission to feel the disappointment, frustration, or even anger.
Seek Support: Surround yourself with people who understand that rejection isn’t a one-and-done deal. They’ll cheer you on as you navigate the course.
Take Time: Patience is key. Rejection isn’t something you rush through; it’s something you work through.
Learn and Grow: Use the experience to reflect on what worked, what didn’t, and how you can approach the next opportunity with clarity and strength.
Celebrate Progress: Each obstacle you overcome—whether it’s reaching out for support or processing challenging emotions—is a win.
Let’s say you pitch an idea to your team at work. You’ve spent days crafting it, perfecting the details, and pouring your heart into it. But then your boss shuts it down.
The sting is real; hearing “just get over it” would be the last thing you need. Instead, you might take a moment to feel disappointed, seek feedback to improve your pitch and remind yourself that this rejection doesn’t define your value or creativity. That’s navigating rejection—not dismissing it.
The Bigger Picture
This blog is part of my Sucky Rejection Advice series, where we unpack well-meaning but misguided phrases like “It could be worse,” “Rejection is just a redirection,” and now, “Just get over it.”
Here’s the deal: rejection is nuanced. It’s not a single moment to “get over.” It’s a journey involving mud, sweat, and maybe a few tears. By embracing the process and giving ourselves the space to navigate it, we come out stronger, more self-aware, and ready for the next challenge.
Final Thought
Rejection isn’t something you “just get over.” It’s something you navigate, like a Tough Mudder course or that awkward hair phase after a quarantine big chop (trust me, I’ve been there).
So, next time someone tells you to “just get over it,” feel free to roll your eyes, lace up your metaphorical running shoes, and navigate your way through it instead. Because rejection isn’t a quick fix—it’s a journey worth taking.
What’s the worst rejection advice you’ve ever received? Let’s chat about it in the comments—because we’ve all been there, we can find better ways to move forward together.
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“Just get over it.” Ever heard that gem of advice after facing rejection? It’s like telling someone to sprint up Mount Everest—unrealistic and dismissive.
Rejection isn’t a puddle you leap over—it’s more like a Tough Mudder course: messy, exhausting, and requiring serious effort to navigate.
In my latest blog, I unpack why “just get over it” doesn’t work and what navigating rejection actually looks like:
Feel your feelings—disappointment, frustration, and all.
Seek support from people who get it.
Celebrate every step forward, no matter how small.
What’s the worst rejection advice you’ve ever received? Let’s talk about it in the comments and find better ways to move forward together.
Ready to navigate rejection with patience and resilience? Let’s work together. Explore my coaching services or book a discovery call to turn rejection into growth.
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