You’re More Than Your Job Title—But Tell That to Rejection
- Tanesha Moody
- Apr 5
- 7 min read
You’re More Than Your Job Title—But Tell That to Rejection
If, like me, you find yourself on LinkedIn, you’ve found yourself scrolling past an individual sharing a rejection story. Every once in a while, there’s a nice happy ending to tie up the post or a positive spin from the Rejection experience that’s shifted their perspective or approach on job hunting. And other times, which I would say is pretty typical on there, it’s a negative connotation. Rejection, especially in your career, hits hard.
Look, I get it. After going through three layoffs in the past four years, I completely understand. Like many, I’ve consistently put myself out there and received countless rejections. Let me pause because I want to shout out to the folks who keep meticulous details regarding their job tracking and rejections. That’s impressive. With the status of the job economy, it feels like rejections are the default, no matter what you’re applying to.
Career-related rejections are typical for those of us who find ourselves forced to work for the man to survive. Some of us have experienced or will experience in the future a passing over for a promotion, someone else receiving the opportunity to lead a project even though we offered, and we can’t forget the avalanche of rejection emails that flood our email inboxes when searching for that unicorn job opportunity. Individuals who are already successful entrepreneurs or have ambitions to become one know that rejections dot the journey toward success. From failed pitches to funding application rejections, not everyone will accept our genius on the path towards greatness. Rejections specific to our career can be disheartening and challenging to navigate and not take personally, especially when we wrap up our degrees and titles into our personal identities. Still, rejections and setbacks are integral to our growth and resilience.
I’ve recognized that when it comes to career-related rejection experiences, they just hit differently. Many of us have come to associate our careers with our identities. Think about it. When you introduce yourself, your job is something that you rattle off without thinking. Jobs, titles, and companies hold so much weight in our lives that it’s a lot of times what we lead with. Some of us may even go so far as to think that our jobs are our purpose in this life instead of something that’s merely contributing to the reason that we’re meant to be on this planet. Thus, when a career-related rejection experience hits, our entire existence and being comes crashing down, just like those emotion islands in Inside Out.
Career rejections, as personal as they might feel, are just a “no” to your offer, not to you as a person.
If we don’t perform the front-end work of understanding who we are, our values, and our purposes, perhaps alongside a coach or some deep self-introspective, we run the risk of not knowing who we are as individuals. Instead, we label ourselves as our latest career and job and find ourselves treading through confusing, muddy murk with no direction when sometimes inevitable, like a layoff or automatic email letter hits us unexpectedly. If we're not careful, we equate our work success with our personal value. When that rejection hits, it’s not just “Oh, they didn’t want my skills,” it’s “They didn’t want me.” Career rejection really stings because we’ve allowed our sense of self to get too entangled in our careers.
In addition to the too-deep connection between our careers and our identities, I’ve also realized that career-related rejection experiences hit differently because these are things that we usually want. We want a promotion to grow our careers and make more money to place our cats in designer pet careers. We want a role at that top tech company to prove to ourselves that those long hours of staying up in college were worth it while everyone else was at the toga party. We want the chance to lead an employee resource group to help pave the path internally for folks who like us. We want to make a difference for something that is going to have residual effects in the future that come with a “yes” within our career-related journey. So, those “Nos” really stop us in our tracks. They force us to second guess if we’re on the right track, have everything we need, or are wanted here. Those questions and thoughts that come from career-related rejection experiences really cloud our ability to perceive the rejection as an answer to an offer, not a reflection of our value.
With the promotion, you offered yourself up to take on more responsibility, and they said no. With the role, you offered your expertise and education to help make a contribution to their organization, and they said no. With the ERG (Employee Resource Group), you offered to free up your time for the development of others, and they said no. The quicker we can see these rejection experiences within our career as a “no” to the offers we put into the world instead of us personally, the more I believe it’s easier to navigate these experiences that will continue occurring.
When we tie our careers to who we are and our purposes, and when we really want our offer to be accepted, it’s no wonder that career-related rejection experiences hit us where it hurts every time.
So, how do we navigate around these rejection experiences within our careers with grace and efficiency?
Here are my thoughts:
Who are you? Starting with that difficult work of figuring out who we are is a great place. Who we are is not equivalent to what we do. Something is awry if we can’t confidently answer who we are besides our job titles. Sometimes, we have to undo years of being told that this part of our lives is all that matters. This can take time and, for me, required a lot of support. Getting clear on our intrinsic value of who we are is work, and heads up – this work is ongoing for the rest of our existence. Being willing to understand ourselves helps make it easier to extrapolate ourselves from the offers that we present in our careers.
It’s Just an Offer. Understanding that everything career-related that can result in a rejection is an offer. From volunteering to lead a project to putting your resume in the ring for that dream job – we’re offering something that is separate from ourselves. Learning to do this is an imperative step to navigate rejection within our careers because it helps to reinforce that the “no” was regarding the offer, not you as an individual.
Party with friends! Finally, some of my favorites include celebrating the career-related rejection experience and seeking some support. The rejection we experienced in our career came with some gifts and things to be grateful for, even if we don’t recognize it immediately. Taking some time to uncover what’s hidden behind this career rejection can help us navigate these nos with grace and efficiency that gets us to where and who we’re meant to be. Don’t go through rejection alone. Whether it’s a trusted friend, mentor, or coach, lean on others to help you navigate the disappointment. Sometimes, an outside perspective is what you need to turn a career “no” into a lesson.
So, the next time a career-related rejection hits us where the sun doesn’t shine, keep some of these things in mind.
Takeaways:
Rejection is inevitable: Especially in careers, rejection is part of the journey. The faster we accept this, the easier it becomes to move on to the next opportunity.
Separate your identity from your career: You are more than your job title. Define yourself based on who you are, not just what you do.
Rejection is an answer to an offer: It becomes easier to handle when we see rejection as feedback on our offer, not ourselves.
Practical Steps:
Reflect on your identity: Take time to assess what truly defines you. If you’ve tied your self-worth to your career, consider how to broaden your perspective on your value.
Track your offers, not just your rejections: Start seeing job applications, pitches, or promotions as offers. And when a “no” comes, remember that it’s just a response to that offer—not a reflection of your worth.
Celebrate each rejection: It might sound weird, but take a moment to celebrate the courage it took to put yourself out there. Reflect on what you learned and how it can help you in the future.
Are you ready to shift how you see career rejection and start making offers without fear? Let’s dive deeper into separating your identity from your job and building resilience to handle those inevitable “nos.”
Reach out today for coaching that will help you navigate the highs and lows of your career, discover who you are, and learn to celebrate every step of the way. Check out my services here, or message me to get started! Let’s turn those “nos” into powerful stepping stones toward your next big “yes.”
<!-- LinkedInContent: 🚪 You’re More Than Your Job Title—But Tell That to Rejection 🚪
Career rejection hits differently. Whether it’s a missed promotion, a dream job that didn’t materialize, or another “Thanks, but no thanks” email, it feels personal—like it’s *you* being rejected, not just your offer.
But here’s the truth: rejection is simply an answer to an offer—not a reflection of your worth. 💡
In my latest blog, I explore how to navigate career rejection with resilience and grace:
🧭 Separate your identity from your job title.
🔄 Reframe rejection as feedback, not failure.
🎉 Celebrate the courage it took to make the offer in the first place.
💬 What’s one lesson a career rejection taught you? Let’s share and grow together in the comments.
Ready to stop letting rejection define you? Let’s connect for a coaching session and build your resilience. Check out my services or message me to get started! 🔗
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