Rejection Doesn’t Define You—But Let’s Complain About It Anyway

Tanesha Moody
Apr 19
5 min read

Rejection Doesn’t Define You—But Let’s Complain About It Anyway

Experiencing rejection sucks. Like, with life already life-ing enough, we have to add a layer of “no.” I feel for those of us who are more sensitive intuitive, and feel all the feels all the time; rejection feels like a below-the-belt attack. For me, taking things personally has been a default reaction. However, I’ve started the life-long work of identifying my values and cementing my identity through self-discovery and deep introspection. This sometimes painful but always rewarding process has helped me to realize that rejection doesn’t directly undermine who I am.

As a professional performing artist in the past, I found it easy to internalize rejection, especially when it was based on my appearance. It felt like a judgment on my very essence. Still, rejection or acceptance experiences don’t change who I am. Neither defines who I am. Rejections or Acceptances are a response to the offer we put into the world, whether it’s a job application, a proposal to spend the rest of our lives together, or a piece of artwork, everything that can result in a “yes” or “no” from someone else is a separate offer that isn’t us.

We should cue up India Arie’s “I Am Not My Hair” because she reminds us that our true essence goes beyond the surface. The initial impact of a rejection experience is typically emotional and can be reminiscent of those rubber bands we used to sport on our wrists and pluck. I feel like my millennial-ness is showing right now. Maybe we need permission to know and accept that we don’t have to take rejections or acceptances personally.

We can take back our power amid one of these experiences. By acknowledging and understanding our emotions and separating our offer from ourselves, we have an opportunity to regain control, build resilience, and walk this life as we’re meant to. There are strategies out there to navigate rejection experiences gracefully and effectively if we choose to.

As mentioned, I, like many of us, am on a lifelong journey of discovering my authentic self. I’m grateful that my church and relationship with God, a source of strength and guidance in my life, played a pivotal role in giving me the tools to discover my identity in something bigger than myself. In addition to my identity, delving into my values, which change and evolve as we do, has been beneficial in discovering who I am. We have a responsibility to frolic through the field of life to truly understand who we are and who we’re meant to become.

One of the most game-changing tools I’ve found along this brick road of self-discovery was the book The Values Factor. Dr. John Demartini placed values in a unique light for me and shifted my perspective to see them as part of a framework to determine what’s truly important to me in every facet of life.

So many individuals feel that their values are “honesty” and “respect,” which are lovely and maybe some of the ones your company has plastered on the wall somewhere. However, just as companies shout from mountaintops that these are these values but don’t demonstrate them in the choices the company makes, if these identified values aren’t helping you to hop out of bed excited for the day, aren’t a gauge to determine if you should or should not decide something, and aren’t inspiring and fulfilling you to live your life full out, I would question if these are your actual values. Our values should ignite a sense of purpose in life.

For me, some of my top values that resonate deeply include Freedom, Joy, Creativity, Gratitude, and Making A Difference. I don’t see these as just words that I get to type from my sit-and-stand stand desk. Nah, these serve as a compass and driving force behind decisions (both small and large) that I make. Even as I wrote this blog post, I checked with my values. Was I honoring them? Was I aligning with what truly mattered to me? Yes. So, here I am, typing away while my cat snores on my lap. Living by my values empowers me to make decisions that align with my true self, and this is a feeling I wish for all of us to experience.

When we’re grounded in our values, identities, and purposes, rejection and acceptance experiences start to lose their grip on us. We begin to realize that the “no” or “yes” that happened isn’t about us. It’s about someone saying “nah” to what we’re offering, not rejecting who we are. It’s about another saying “yes” to something we put on the table, not accepting who we are. This separation brings a sense of freedom that is truly liberating.

This isn’t a “one-and-done” thing—self-discovery and resilience building are lifelong processes. There are many tools to help along the way: books, faith, coaches, and even dedicated time with ourselves. These tools help us avoid taking rejection personally and remind us that our worth is not up for debate. When we intrinsically know who we are as individuals, we realize that rejection doesn’t define our value as a person. Embracing self-discovery and resilience building as lifelong processes is key to living a life free from the shackles of rejection and acceptance.

Rejection and acceptance don’t define who we are—they’re simply responses to what we offer the world. If you’re ready to take control of how you navigate these experiences and live more aligned with your true values, start by asking yourself: Who am I beyond the "yes" and "no" moments?

Begin the process of self-discovery and values exploration today. At Full Out Coaching, we’re here to guide you on this journey. Let’s work together to unlock your potential, embrace resilience, and live life aligned with your values.

Ready to dive in? Schedule a complimentary discovery call today, and let’s explore how you can take back your power, live authentically, and embrace life Full Out. Your true self is waiting to be discovered!

https://www.taneshalmoody.com/coaching

Takeaways:

Rejection is not a reflection of your worth: It’s a response to the offer you put forward, not who you are at your core.
Separate your identity from external outcomes: Whether a “yes” or a “no,” these are responses to actions or decisions, not to your intrinsic value.
Values are your compass: Discover and align with your values. Let them guide your choices and decisions, big and small.
Self-discovery is a lifelong journey: It’s okay to evolve. Keep reflecting, questioning, and learning who you are.
Resilience comes from grounding yourself in who you are: When you know your worth, rejection loses its sting. Acceptances and rejections no longer hold the power to define you.
There are tools to help along the way: Whether through faith, coaching, books, or self-reflection, many resources are available to help you stay aligned with your true self and live out your values.

<!-- LinkedInContent: 🙃 Rejection Doesn’t Define You—But Let’s Complain About It Anyway 🙃

Rejection sucks. It feels personal, like a gut-punch to our self-worth. But here’s the truth: rejection isn’t about *you*. It’s about the offer—not your value. 💡

In my latest blog, I unpack the power of self-discovery and aligning with your values to take rejection less personally. When you know who you are and what you stand for, rejection becomes feedback—not failure.

✨ Some key takeaways:

🧭 Let your values guide you—they’re your compass.

🛑 Separate your identity from the “yes” or “no.”

💪 Resilience comes from knowing your worth.

💬 What’s one value that helps guide your decisions? Let’s share and grow together in the comments.

Start your self-discovery journey today! Read the blog or schedule a complimentary discovery call to explore how to live life aligned with your true self. 🔗

#RejectionIsGrowth #LiveFullOut #FullOutCoaching #Resilience #ValuesAlignment #SelfDiscovery -->