Not All Gifts Are Pretty: How Feedback and Rejection Fuel Personal Growth

Tanesha Moody
Sep 6
5 min read

Not All Gifts Are Pretty: How Feedback and Rejection Fuel Personal Growth

We’re continuing our Preparing for Rejection series, and today, we’re diving into feedback—one of the most misunderstood tools in navigating rejection. If rejection is inevitable, feedback is the flashlight guiding us through the dark, awkward moments. Let’s explore how we can embrace feedback as a gift and use it to grow, even when it feels like rejection’s little sibling.

The Feedback Gap

As a manager, I’ve led teams across global enterprises, and I’ve seen firsthand how feedback can make or break relationships, careers, and growth journeys. While many leadership trainings touch on giving feedback, receiving it often feels like an afterthought. That’s a missed opportunity because feedback—given well or not—is essential to personal and professional growth.

Feedback and rejection can both sting, they can both feel deeply personal, and they both require us to navigate tricky emotions.

Feedback isn’t rejection. Feedback is information. It’s the key to understanding how to refine, improve, or adjust our approach for next time. When we approach it with the right mindset, it becomes one of the most powerful tools in our rejection-preparation arsenal.

Early in my career, I received vague feedback during a performance review. “Be more strategic,” they said. At first, I felt dismissed—what did that even mean? But instead of letting it fester, I asked follow-up questions. Turns out, my manager wanted me to focus less on the day-to-day grind and more on bigger-picture initiatives. That feedback transformed how I approached my role and set me up for success in future leadership positions.

Gratitude: The First Step in Receiving Feedback

Expressing gratitude for feedback is a game-changer. Think about it—someone took the time, energy, and vulnerability to share their perspective with us. They didn’t have to, but they did. That’s a gift.

Even if the feedback stings or doesn’t feel immediately relevant, gratitude shifts our perspective. It reminds us that feedback is a gift (yes, even when it feels like a bath set from Family Dollar that we didn’t ask for). Whether we choose to use it or leave it on the shelf, the act of receiving it with grace matters.

Assume Positive Intent (Even When It’s Hard)

Let’s be real—not everyone is skilled at giving feedback. Sometimes, it’s vague. Sometimes, it’s delivered without any care in the world. But most people mean well, and assuming positive intent helps us approach feedback with curiosity instead of defensiveness.

This doesn’t mean excusing poor delivery—it means looking past it to find the little slither of insight that can help us grow.

Curiosity Over Defensiveness

Feedback is like a treasure map. Sometimes, it’s clear and direct. Other times, it’s a riddle wrapped in vague comments. When we approach feedback with curiosity, we open the door to deeper understanding.

Ask questions. Dig deeper. What did they mean by “You need to be more proactive”? How can you better align your work with their expectations? Asking clarifying questions transforms feedback into a conversation rather than a monologue from Hamlet so we can understand and apply it.

Feedback Isn’t Always a Keepable Gift

Not all feedback is valuable. Sometimes, it’s irrelevant, unhelpful, or just plain wrong. And that’s okay! The beauty of feedback is that we get to decide what to do with it.

Think of feedback as a buffet—you don’t have to eat everything. Take what serves your growth and leave the rest. The key is discerning what serves your growth and what doesn’t.

Turning Feedback Into a Superpower

Receiving feedback is a skill, just like navigating rejection. It takes practice, patience, and a willingness to embrace vulnerability. For me, Spanish classes have been a masterclass in feedback. Imagine being corrected on pronunciation and grammar multiple times in front of peers—it’s humbling.

But instead of resisting, I’ve made it a ritual to say “Gracias” every time I’m corrected. This practice reminds me that feedback is helping me improve, even when it feels uncomfortable.

When Feedback and Rejection Collide

Sometimes, rejection comes wrapped in feedback. While not every rejection includes feedback, when it does, it can be a gift:

Uncover the Learnings: Feedback within rejection provides clarity. Maybe it’s about refining your approach, strengthening your skills, or adjusting your expectations.
Power-Up Unlocked: Feedback can act as a buffer, softening the sting of rejection and giving us actionable steps to move forward.
Trust Builder: When feedback comes from someone close to us, it can deepen trust. They’ve made themselves vulnerable by sharing their perspective—an act of love and respect.

Practical Steps to Master Feedback

Here’s how we can embrace feedback as part of our rejection journey:

Say Thank You: Gratitude is the gateway to growth. A simple “thank you” shifts the tone and keeps us open to learning.
Get Curious: Don’t stop at surface-level feedback. Ask follow-up questions to uncover the real insights.
Discern Its Value: Not all feedback is worth keeping. Evaluate it against your goals and values.
Practice Makes Progress: Like navigating rejection, getting comfortable with feedback takes practice. Start small and build your feedback muscle over time.

Final Thoughts: Feedback Is a Choice

Feedback isn’t always easy to hear, but it’s always an opportunity. We don’t have to take every piece of feedback to heart. We don’t have to implement every suggestion or let every comment reshape our identity. Feedback is a choice.

So, the next time feedback comes your way (whether it’s constructive criticism, vague suggestions, or a “gift” you didn’t ask for), pause. Say, thank you. Reflect. And remember: feedback is an invitation, not an obligation.

What’s the most impactful piece of feedback you’ve ever received? Let’s swap stories and lessons in the comments. 😊

Not All Gifts Are Pretty: How Feedback and Rejection Fuel Personal Growth

www.taneshalmoody.com

<!-- LinkedInContent: 🎁 Not All Gifts Are Pretty—But They’re Still Gifts 🎁

Feedback and rejection: two words that can make us cringe, but here’s the truth—they’re some of the best tools for personal growth (even if they’re wrapped in awkwardness).

In my latest blog, I dive into why feedback is a gift, even when it stings, and how rejection and feedback together create a dynamic duo for growth.

✨ Highlights include:

✔ How to turn feedback into actionable insights.

💡 Why gratitude is the secret sauce for receiving feedback.

🗑 When to keep feedback—and when to toss it aside.

🤝 How rejection wrapped in feedback can soften the sting and deepen trust.

If you’ve ever struggled with receiving feedback or navigating rejection, this one’s for you. Let’s turn “no” into the stepping stone for your next big “yes.”

📖 Read the blog here: [Insert link]

💬 What’s the most impactful piece of feedback you’ve ever received? Let’s share our stories in the comments! 👇

#Feedback #Rejection #PersonalGrowth #Leadership #Resilience -->