Micro Rejections: It’s Not That Serious (Until You’re Crying in the Shower)

Tanesha Moody
May 17
4 min read

You ever find yourself in one of those freeze-frame movie moments where time slows, and you’re like, “Did what happen just happen?” Usually, the moment is minor and subtle, and those familiar rejection feelings creep up like Michael Jackson in Thriller, sometimes unintentionally. It’s not always some grand gesture or harsh words; the omissions, casual disregard, or other actions leave me feeling like I’ve been left on read– unseen, unheard, and wondering why.

I like to call these little moments micro rejections: those fleeting experiences that whisper a quiet “no” to something we’ve offered, whether it’s our time, attention, ideas, or even affection.

If we’re just floating through life like I tend to, these micro-rejections might seem trivial or easy to brush off. A missed greeting (yes, I’m writing about my neighbor, you know who you are!)) or an ignored comment – it’s really not that serious. And you know what? It’s really not. Until we start to stack these moments up over time and feel their cumulative height like a game of Jenga reading, “You don’t even go here,” right before it topples over. So, no, these micro-rejections aren’t screaming rejection, but their annoying whispers are subtle feelings that don’t always go away on their own. Sometimes, they can impact our sense of belonging and self-esteem over time.

What Do Micro-Rejections Look Like?

Like a Master of Disguise, Micro-rejections slip into all areas of life disguised as “no big deal” moments. We see the patterns only when we look under that turtle suit, tilted wig, and fake mustache.

Maybe our partner wraps their arms around us, and instead of us taking advantage of some physical touch, we shrug them off. It's not a big deal, although it feels like a rejection to them.

Or we may find ourselves out with some homies, and someone makes a point to greet everyone – except us. Oversight or intentional? It doesn’t matter because it still stings. Remember the drama on Selling Sunset? (Yes, we’re going there!) When Jason’s girlfriend, Marie-Lou (or is it Mary Louise? It doesn’t matter. Team Chrishell forever!), felt slighted by Chrishell’s greeting—or lack thereof—because it didn’t match what she expected. Sure, playback proved it wasn’t intentional, but her perception of rejection was real.

These micro-rejections love a good workplace setting, too. The colleague who consistently interrupts us in meetings or avoids eye contact when we’re speaking is on the micro-rejection playground. These behaviors might not be malicious, but they can still leave us feeling dismissed or undervalued.

It’s Not About You

Here’s the crucial part: micro-rejections are not about who we are but about what we’ve offered. A shrug, a missed greeting, or an ignored suggestion are rejections of a moment, an action, or an idea, not of our entire being. Let’s be real: that’s easier said than felt, right?

Micro-rejections are kinda sneaky and not as out in the open as other obvious rejection experiences. Unfortunately, they don’t come with a Vegas neon sign that says, “Hey, you! You’re being rejected!” Instead, they gather strength like in a tornado, slowly chipping away at our confidence, trust, and connection, making it harder to articulate why we actually feel hurt, dismissed, and rejected. However, I’ve found that separating the rejection of my offer from my worth as a person is a powerful way to help me take control of these moments and navigate around them gracefully and effectively.

How to Navigate Micro-rejections

So, what options do we have? Here’s what’s helped me to navigate these subtle “no’s.”

Recognize the Feeling: When we feel the sting of a micro rejection, we shouldn’t brush it off or pretend it doesn’t matter. Instead, we should take a moment to name what we’re feeling and why. Acknowledging it is the first step toward understanding it.

Check for Patterns: Is this a one-off moment, or is it happening repeatedly? Recognizing patterns can help us decide if it’s worth addressing—or if we need to adjust your expectations.

Communicate with Care: If the micro rejection comes from someone important to us, have an honest conversation. Share how we felt, but keep curiosity at the forefront instead of blame. “Hey, I noticed this, and it made me feel [X]. Was that your intention?”

Focus on Self-Worth: No matter how many micro-rejections we face, our value remains untouched. Root our sense of self-worth in who we are, not in how others respond to our offers.

Micro rejections are a part of life, but they don’t have to define our experiences. By learning to recognize them, separating the rejection of our offers from our identity, and approaching them with curiosity and self-assurance, we can maintain our sense of belonging and even strengthen our relationships.

Now it’s your turn: What are some moments in your life that might qualify as micro rejections? How did you handle them? Let’s talk about these small but mighty moments—because you’re not alone in feeling them, and together, we can learn to navigate them.

https://www.taneshalmoody.com/coaching

<!-- LinkedInContent: 🤔 Micro Rejections: It’s Not That Serious (Until You’re Crying in the Shower) 🤔

Ever had a moment that made you pause and think, “Wait, was that a rejection?” Whether it’s a missed greeting, a shrugged-off idea, or someone bypassing your hug attempt (ouch), micro-rejections are those small moments that whisper “no” instead of shouting it.

These subtle experiences add up over time, and their cumulative impact can sting. But here’s the key: micro-rejections aren’t about *you*. They’re about the moment—not your worth. 💡

In my latest blog, I share how to navigate these small but mighty moments with resilience:

🪞 Recognize and name the feeling.

📊 Check for patterns before reacting.

🤝 Communicate with curiosity and care.

💬 What’s a micro-rejection moment you’ve noticed in your life? How do you handle it? Let’s share and learn together.

Read the full blog below. 🔗

#RejectionIsGrowth #LiveFullOut #FullOutCoaching #Resilience #MindsetShift #PersonalGrowth -->