Tired
“Tired.” That’s the word that continuously came to mind.
In addition to the phrase, “I just need some space.” Referring to the need to take some time to think through some of the things I wanted to do.
Unfortunately, finding the time to prioritize, strategize, and reflect on what’s going on wasn’t a courtesy offered.
Never did I feel as if the answer to my problem was hitting me from various perspectives so blatantly.
I happened to schedule a Birth Chart Reading (highly recommend!), and in the meeting, the professional said that I need to take time to reflect, observe, and regroup in silence.
Church mentioned the importance of silence and building it into your everyday life.
Hell, every television show out right now has the main character spending time with themselves to figure out what’s next – Euphoria, Inventing Anna, everywhere.
How the hell are you supposed to find the time, “the space” that I kept screaming about when the world doesn’t stop, when social media doesn’t stop, when your brain doesn’t stop.
Well, there’s one way that I don’t recommend – get laid off from your job.
I recognized that all of the available space I was craving was occupied by my full-time+ job. You know what a full-time+ gig is—going above the 40-hour workweek, finding little moments (the bathroom, eating lunch, driving to the supermarket), and throwing it towards your job. That was me.
Admittedly not healthy for me and probably not for my relationships, either. Who wants to hear you only talk about your job every time we connect. Bueller?
I couldn’t stop, though. I had something to prove. To myself, primarily. That I could do this and flourish at it will push me in the direction I envision my life going.
The life I envision going has a lot more of that “space” in it, though.
I took a journey of re-evaluating my relationship with this “space.” I crave it, need it, want it, but fitting it within the confines of my everyday life is tough.
This re-evaluation process has to consider first defining what the “space” is.
Some steps I started taking on this journey to discover the “space:”
Limit my social media daily intake
Your phone can assist with this! I’ve cut down my interaction on most social media channels (you’re going to have to carve Twitter out of my old, crusty hands!) to approximately 5 minutes each day.
Limit my phone screen time
Your phone can obviously assist with this, too!
Designated a location in my house as the ideal “space.”
I spend some time sitting there without my phone and maybe some tea. Reflect on a few things and enjoy the silence
Give a lot of grace to me.
This one is tough. I’ve always been my harshest critic, and laying around, sitting in silence, not doing anything when my entire l
ife has been “go, go, go” and “what’s next?” is the most challenging piece of all of this. I’m learning to find gratitude in the blessing of being able to do this, even in small increments.
To be continued.