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That's Not What I Said... Communication

Updated: Feb 22

Gotta love the wild world of communication—or, as I like to call it, the art of understanding without jumping to conclusions. So, I'm chatting with one of my coaches about this gem of a book I stumbled upon, "10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage"  by John and Julie Gottman. (Side note: Can we talk about their latest masterpiece, "Fight Right"? I’m very excited about this one!). I usually have at least three versions of myself present when I’m being coached, so I’m very thankful that these sessions are confidential. 

communication phone

Anyway, I started chatting with him about how communication—especially the whole "listening to understand, not just to respond" thing—is the secret sauce to solving pretty much any problem, whether it's in relationships or, let's be honest, everyday life.


As I delve deeper into this topic, it hits me: why aren't we taught this stuff from day one? I mean, sure, we learn about the ABCs and quadratic equations, but when it comes to truly understanding each other and navigating the murky waters of human interaction? Crickets. We're so used to swooping in with advice or solutions that we often miss the mark when it comes to genuinely grasping what someone else is trying to say. It can be frustrating for everyone involved, and you start to sound like a broken record, saying, “That’s not what I said.”

communication books read

Now, let's talk about these books I've been devouring lately. "The Coaching Habit" urges us to embrace curiosity for better communication, while "Cult Classic" (a gem I picked up at Baltimore's Silent Book Club—highly recommend!) serves up a cautionary tale about the perils of miscommunication in past relationships. And don't even get me started on "80/20," which hammers home the importance of clear communication with your ideal clients.

It's funny, isn't it? Communication is like the unsung hero of the literary world—popping up in books, stories, and life lessons left and right, yet somehow, we still struggle to master it in our day-to-day interactions. But fear not, my friends, for there's hope. Just like any other skill, we can improve with practice. 

Takeaway time! Here's what I've learned:

  1. Listen up: Instead of rushing to offer advice or solutions, take the time to listen and understand what someone is saying honestly. You might be surprised at what you discover.

  2. Curiosity is key: Approach conversations with a sense of curiosity, asking questions and seeking to understand rather than assuming you have all the answers.

  3. Learn from the past: Reflect on past communication mishaps and use them as lessons to improve your future interactions. Trust me, hindsight really is 20/20.

  4. Practice makes perfect: Like any skill worth mastering, effective communication takes practice. So don't be afraid to flex those listening muscles on the reg.

  5. Seek Help if necessary. My Coaches have helped me navigate and grow in this area, and I'm excited to help you as well!

So there you have it, folks—communication may be a tricky beast, but with a little effort and a whole lot of listening, we can all become masters of the art of understanding. And hey, if you ever need a little extra guidance in the communication department, well, you know where to find me. Let's chat! 🎤✨

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