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Lately, I've been pondering the whole concept of "chasing" in relationships. Before things take off, there's this dance of pursuit between two people.

Dating to marry

Society has a lot to say about it, doesn't it? There's this notion that the man should be the one putting in the effort. If he's not showing interest or making you feel like a priority, it's easy to think, "Why bother?"

And sure, to a degree, there's truth in that. If a guy isn't stepping up, pulling back is tempting, even if you're interested in him.

But then I wonder, should women take the reins in the pursuit instead? I mean, biologically speaking, men are wired to chase after what they want. It's like a primal instinct—they thrive on the thrill of the chase.

So, if we're into someone, do we sit back and wait for them to figure it out? It's a tough call.

Whenever I find myself investing more than the other person, I want to hit pause. Older women always say you should be with someone who loves you more than you love them. But how do you ensure that if you do all the chasing?

One of the most effective ways to shift the dynamic is to communicate. We're more than capable of expressing our needs. Then, focus on living your life—unapologetically. Share snippets of your world, flaunt your happiness and let him see what he's missing out on.

Maybe, just maybe, he'll realize that if he wants a spot in your life, he's got to put in the work.


Since this summer, I've embraced a new routine—I rise at 5:30 am, dedicating these early hours to quiet reflection, prayer, and meditation.

As an Extrovert who sometimes has introverted tendencies, I've realized my need for solitude to process emotions and thoughts.

Chasing in relationships and dating

So, these mornings have become sacred to me.

Picture this: I shuffle into my sunlit sunroom, my favorite chair calling my name, with my faithful cat, Kiwi, by my side. After my morning rituals—Bible reading and Spanish practice—I dive into journaling prayers and thoughts. Then, I sit, soaking in the sunrise, contemplating my day and life goals, and feeling the rhythm of my breath.

This ritual became even sweeter during my time at the beach house. Breathing in the ocean air, I felt utterly at peace.

Silence and Dating

Here's what I've gleaned from this practice:

We all need more moments of silence to reflect and recharge.

Silence, or "the space," is always available—we must tap into it.

Being alone isn't scary—it's an opportunity for self-discovery and spiritual growth.

I'm committed to continuing this practice and excited to see where it leads. It's unlocked parts of me I never knew existed, drawing me closer to God.

And who knows? Maybe if more people embraced solitude, the world would be calmer and more reflective.

Tanesha L. Moody Logo
Tanesha L. Moody Logo

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